OSEU Two: Delores Taken Alive– Lakota Identity

That’s very interesting because I did talk about that…and I said you know you don’t belong to any gangs. That’s not our way of life. You already have an identity…that’s the bands that we belong to. Like you belong to the Hunkpapa band and our chief is Sitting Bull. But…the girls…they need to know a woman’s way. And they need to know how…when they’re on their moon…or when they have their monthly period…how to behave…how to conduct themselves. They need to know these things. I know…in my teachings here…the young girls…or the little girls…they don’t know that. And I’ll tell you one example…I’m a foster parent of sixteen children…that went through…not all at once…but went through my home. And one girl came to us…she was thirteen years old…and I have some boys that are about that age or a little bit older…two boys and two girls…three girls…at that time. One of the boys says, “Auntie! Auntie! Come into the bathroom. Somebody has a big nosebleed.” Right in there is a big pad full of blood laying there in the trash. So, I said, “No. Go on out. I’ll take care of this.” The boy left. So I took care of it. I took that girl there. I showed her. She said, “Well no one has ever taught me. I don’t know these things.” So I sat down and I talked to her about her being on the moon. And then she said, “You know what? You’re the first person. You’re just like a mother to me. And I’m thirteen years old,” she said. “And I didn’t know these things.” I taught her how to take care of herself…and how to put that away…not in the bathroom but… So, these are some of the things our children do nowadays… especially in middle school or high school…do they really know about their healthy, secretive ways…and how they have to conduct themselves when they are of that…because we were taught that by our mother. And also, they always say, “You don’t take a woman that’s not yours.” And then our mother used to say, “There are three kinds of friendship. One is a friend friend…like a boy or a girl. It’s a friend. And one is someone you like…that you like to be with…and you might be confiding in him or her…and or maybe sit down and talk about things. And the third one is an intimate friend. Now you like this person...this female or male…so now…since you are getting intimate, you have to be careful. You don’t sleep with that girl you like unless you are going to marry her or if you are married. So these are the things that we need to be telling these young men and women that are coming up. If they are not taught in the homes…I used to take time out…about two or three years ago…just to talk to the girls in my class about a woman’s way…how they need to be taught about these things. And now, I have asked one of my nephews…I need to look around in who is knowledgeable about this way and ask them if they could come in to talk to the boys…how to be a man. And I had a nephew that was married…maybe he’s in his thirties or forties…and I said…he was my grandson…I need to talk to you about how to be a man. “Oh grandma! You know I am a man. I’m married and I have children.” “No. The way I’m looking at you. You need to be a man. So I’m going to talk to you about that. What is a man in our way of life? They’re not abusive. They’re not alcoholics. They’re not womanizing. You need to be a man.” He was kind of negative about it…but you know what’s sad to say sitting in the penn…because they don’t know these things. That’s how they…a lot of our children are growing up nowadays. So that means those things need to be taught. So that’s where I am with these young ladies, and I want an older man to come in and talk to my young men…because I notice things like that teaching this long with the Lakota students. That way they can behave themselves. I said, “In the hallways, you push, you kick, you pull.” I said, “That’s not our way of life because you have to have respect for yourself. And you’re not going to be that…especially boys…you don’t touch a woman unless that’s your intimate friend of the opposite sex.”