NDNAEU 7 "The Long Path of Learning" with Gerald Packineau

My name is Gerald pack you know my family call me Jerry my people I associated he could say gangs or my nickname has always been pack and when I had different names on when I meet people I’m from the Fort Worth of Fort Berthold Reservation I grew up there I’m from a white show the Recaro but my I also grew up in Twin Buttes on the man dance area but in those two areas I had two father figures Tracey patty no senior and Edwin Benson they were docked me out his son and he we always kept that you know as to ourselves and how we treat each other because we I love no honor for 32 years and we became well acquainted with each other he taught me a lot of traditional things and my dad taught me a lot of discipline manner of respect and listening so education is what listening to so not just teaching you have to listen to learn I’m kind of was telling you earlier that you know I’ve always been had a hard time understanding things but that discipline part of listing helped me and then when I was in the SK the circular world or the world that was trying to train me and teach me I’ve never felt connected to that learning always felt indifferent but as I learned to grow and I’ve been in both worlds the wrong side of the tracks as you call it and now I’m learning now and I’m learning to live in a non-native community and how to live in a Native American there’s always that war got goes on and when we finally find ourselves you know it takes years I mean people will say Hawass gonna I’m gonna do this in this amount of time it don’t happen in spirituality there’s no timeframe there’s when those things happen that’s when it is I believe that you know I’m here to they say what’s my purpose but I know one thing that to educate and teach people wants where you came from this that’s a testimony of that people think that by oh I’m a Christian I’ll do it this way but I’m not a Christian I know my identity my Indian name is a red star I was given to me and so when I think about that there’s identity right there and when I talked to you non-natives always telling my name is Gerald yeah so that’s my Christian name it’s uh you know and then when I see my family like Jasper or Charlie that’s Jerry they call me then I see the people I used to associate way on the other side of the room they called me pack hey back man back what you up to you know and those things so you know and I became so fluent or so adapted to the way things were I just went freely with things you know I went to school I went to Mormonism for out there for six years I had a variety of education in my life and when I’ve been you know incarcerated I’ve been addicted to alcohol you know and I’ve I’ve come a long ways it took me ten years to get sober but all that process I was learning I was learning to reconstruct my behavior I was learning to rethink myself up here this place they say this place was good but this place wasn’t in a place where you because a way of lifestyle I had to learn to read and study things that’s important we that we read people don’t realize that I mean you don’t get this knowledge this by saying all right I went and did this and that you there’s a point of reading and that’s why I believe education is a big part of our life no matter who you are if you really want to find out who you are start reading start studying the uncommon thing for Native American is the spirituality aspects of things of praying and people say well we have different ways of saying how we pray I wish do these things but when you start doing that you’re making that connection because people will tell you whether an AAA or cream in or anything you know we wanted to do it this way and even in education you got to do it this way and it seems like we don’t connect and we’re missing the mark and to me to finally see myself where I needed to be was a fulfilment of understanding who I’m related to in my create with the Creator and that gave me a different identity different outlook and it helped me gain that path now I’m on that path now I’m walking that path but that’s just the beginning